Whether you want to lose weight, get fit, or just incorporate healthy habits into your lifestyle, the best thing you can do to help yourself is create a support network. Your support network is made up of the people you see most in your life – your immediate family, friends, co-workers. These are the people who will have the power to derail you or encourage you on your journey.
There are three important ways to ensure the people around you are supporting you in the right way:
1. GETTING SUPPORT FOR HEALTHY EATING
A lot of people don’t like to share the fact that they’re trying to lose weight. So how can you explain to your co-workers that you don’t want to go out for burgers at lunch, or have the donuts at your weekly meeting? Or what do you say when your friends are planning a night at a bar, complete with bar food and cocktails? People can’t help you on your way if they aren’t aware you’re trying to make changes. If you really want to keep a weight loss goal private, explain your new habits as a health goal instead: you’re trying to cut down on meat, or you want to eat less fat for heart health.
It’s okay to have your needs met. If a friend wants to go out to eat, make sure the restaurant you choose has healthy options for you, even if your friend is not watching what they eat. Tell your eating partners what you plan on doing – if you’re at home, tell your family you’re having salad, a small portion of the family meal, but you won’t be snacking after dinner. That way, they can hold you accountable to your decision.
If you’re a healthy weight, or you have a good grasp of portions, it can actually be beneficial for you to eat alone when you can. You’re less likely to overeat to be social, or to eat a larger portion. Likewise, if you are overweight, or if your portion sizes are pretty large, it can actually be better for you to eat with other people. Eating in a group could help you modify portions and eat less than you normally would, left to your own devices.
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| Find an app or online tracking tool that works for you. |
Don’t discount the advantage of finding a support network outside of people you see day to day. Sometimes finding an online chat group for healthy eating can be really beneficial. You can discuss food and eating issues that your co-workers or spouse don’t want to hear about, and get inspiration from others in the same boat. Or, you can use online tools or apps to share your progress, whether it is workouts, training goals, or weight loss.
2. USING YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK TO REACH EXERCISE GOALS
Make your social life work with you for exercising. Set up workout dates with friends. Even if your friends aren’t really into exercising, they’ll probably agree to going for a walk, or trying a beginner yoga class. Make group outings less sedentary – think about going to a zoo (lots of walking!) or even for a picnic in the park (you can bring healthy food and play frisbee) rather than going to the movies (a-hem…popcorn!).
If you’re more into solo exercise, tell your friends and family your exercising plans so they can congratulate you when you meet your goals and ‘encourage’ you if you’re thinking of skipping a workout. Be very clear about what kind of ‘encouragement’ this should be – some people are okay with a kick in the butt, like, “Get off the couch – you said you were going to the gym!”, while a gentler approach, like, “I know you’ve had a long day, but you will probably feel better if you go out for a walk,” might work for you.
It can be a great idea to sign up for either an event like a race, or for a series of classes, with a friend or family member. That way you can train together, or always have a workout partner. You could even do this long distance – I once trained for a 15K race in Sydney with friends, even though I live in NYC. We shared our training and discussed techniques, eating habits, and the fact that we all gave up wine while training via email!
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| My friend Elli and I after running a race together – we shared our training from different continents! |
3. KNOWING WHEN TO EDIT YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK
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| Avoid negative people when trying to reach your goals! |
This is often the trickiest part – ensuring your support network is working for you, not against you. Sometimes, for whatever reason, you may not be making good progress on your goal. The way people react to that can have a huge effect on whether you keep up with your healthy lifestyle. If there are some people in your life who are negative, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship. A friend or family member who seems happy that you’ve hit a plateau, or who suggests you aren’t going to be able to meet your goal, is someone you may want to avoid for a while. They may just feel threatened that you’re making a change, and be acting out of fear your relationship with them is going to suffer. Or, it could be that person really doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
